After seeing my fortune for the year, Granduncle, who had been silent as if stunned for a few seconds, suddenly sprang up like a bomb. Soon after, the capital’s doctors he had summoned hurried over.
An old doctor with a monocle, a young doctor who had just removed his training badge, and a red-haired doctor who took care of the health of the guild’s employees.
“Ah, this is really…”
“I’ve never seen anything like this before. What in the world happened…”
“It seems like this isn’t something a doctor can solve.”
The most useful comment came from the guild’s doctor. She rubbed her high-prescription glasses against her sleeve and diagnosed.
“Could it be magic?”
I had vaguely guessed it. But hearing it from someone else’s mouth, it felt like true despair.
Without realizing it, I buried my face in my hands. Ugh, I tried to stomp my feet in anger, but my legs, turned to gray stone, wouldn’t budge.
Only Granduncle urged the doctor.
“Magic? What are you talking about?”
“It’s not a disease caused by poor health. Think about it, have you ever heard of a disease that suddenly turns someone’s legs to stone?”
Looking up, I saw Granduncle shaking his head in my stead. The dumbfounded doctor turned to me and asked.
“Master, did you perhaps offend a wicked sorcerer somewhere?”
Sorcerer, that worst of names.
No one knows where the power of magic first originated, not even the sorcerers themselves. There are just those who are born with power indiscriminately.
Fortunately, powerful sorcerers are controlled by the empire and noble families, but the problem lies with the worthless ones who dodge control and the law. They play pranks or act high and mighty with their meager abilities, sometimes casting constipation curses just for fun…
Anyway, I don’t know any sorcerers, nor have I offended one!
“I haven’t. I haven’t fought with anyone lately, and I always wear my magic defense ring.”
I wiggled my left hand to show the silver ring on my little finger. It was a ring I had bought just in case and had never taken off for years, except when bathing. It was an item that could neutralize most curses.
Suddenly, Granduncle covered his mouth with both hands.
“Huh!”
It was so loud that it was impossible not to hear. Both the doctor and I turned to look at Granduncle. He flailed his hands at me in a ridiculous manner and shouted.
“That! Miss, that, that!”
“That?”
“Yes, that thing! That, that thing!”
What on earth had he thought of to keep saying ‘that’…
“Ah!”
Suddenly, enlightenment struck! I waved my finger at Granduncle, realizing what he meant.
“That! That… the, the note from Grandma! The one about blessings or curses!”
“Yes, that’s the one!”
“…But what is it?”
It was something like always respond last or something.
It might not have been just a fortune for fun but a paper imbued with real magical power, a blessing or a curse. But it’s strange to think that it caused my legs to end up like this, isn’t it?
Granduncle looked at me with a desperate expression and bombarded me with questions.
“Did you, by any chance, not respond last? Eh?”
“Ah, no, how can I remember every single one…”
Who did I talk to today? Granduncle, the doctor, uh… that’s all, right?
With a heavy heart, I declared to Granduncle and the doctor in turn.
“Alright, then I’ll be the last to speak. Both of you, don’t say anything. Now, the conversation is over!”
And surprisingly!
Nothing changed. Damn it.
We waited in silence for about a minute. The doctor, with a look of disbelief, glanced back and forth between me and Granduncle before heading out first. He didn’t even properly say goodbye, perhaps conscious of my curse.
Granduncle thumped his chest in frustration.
“Ah, think harder!”
“I’m telling you, that’s all! I’ve only been working here. I’ve only been using TalkTalk, so there’s no way I talked to someone else…”
Wait a minute.
Our eyes met. We’re thinking the same thing, aren’t we? Right?
I had been chatting on TalkTalk! Maybe this curse counts even that as conversation. Duke Daira kept replying, so I just didn’t respond first, but could it be because of that?
I quickly reached out to pull TalkTalk closer.
At that very moment.
“Aaaah!”
Suddenly, my thighs, then my hips, and waist turned to stone. With a creaking, strange sound. I frantically pounded on the petrified parts, but it only hurt my hands.
“Miss, hurry up! Quickly!”
“Ah, got it!”
The petrification was progressing too fast. I struggled against the petrification that was paralyzing my chest and arms, managing to press just one button on the typewriter. I was sweating cold sweat as I moved my stiffening arm.
Granduncle, who had been hopping next to me, saw the letter I had sent and opened his mouth wide.
“No, not that! Something else!”
What am I supposed to do? My vision is blurring. I shakily pressed another button with trembling hands. Granduncle screamed again, saying it wasn’t right.
But what do I do, I feel like I’m really turning into a stone…
“I can’t… move any… more…”
My vision blurred, and I saw Granduncle’s crying face. My arm fell off, and the send button was pressed. I lost consciousness.
But if I die like this, it would be funny.
To die because I didn’t reply, what a disgrace to the family.
…
Duke Daira had a busy afternoon. Having stayed in his domain all this time, there was a lot to take care of and many people to look after when going up to the capital. So he hadn’t properly heard the sound of the recently received device going ‘TalkTalk!’
It was only at night that the Duke could take a breather and sit at his desk. Laven, his loyal knight and helper in the Duke’s overall life, approached and asked.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes. Just a bit tired.”
“Take it easy. Since you’ve ordered TalkTalk, you’ll know right away if something happens in the domain.”
“That’s true. It’s more convenient and useful than I thought. I can see why it was popular.”
The Duke nodded, looking at the TalkTalk placed on one side of his desk. It had no decorations, but that made it look cleaner and more sophisticated.
Then Laven peeked over and checked the Duke’s TalkTalk.
“How do you use this? I haven’t seen it in action much.”
Laven hadn’t had the chance to broaden his horizons, staying in the domain all the time. Feeling somewhat sorry, the Duke gladly operated the TalkTalk for him.
“You tap the screen like this to turn it on… Ah, there’s a message.”
A small envelope icon indicating a new message appeared on the screen. The Duke tapped the small envelope to check it.
Only two characters appeared on the screen.
[ㅋ]
[ㅗ]
* TL note: these 2 are korean characters, but online they are used to indicate “haha” and “fuck you” respectively.
The Duke tilted his head and muttered.
“What does this mean?”
Laven opened his mouth wide, unable to respond. In fact, Laven was sure the Duke must have had the same thought.
‘Suddenly laughing at me…?’
It was utterly baffling. Of course, what was even more baffling came next.
‘And then a finger insult?’
It was a curse Laven sometimes used when communicating with friends through letters.
Worried that the Duke might be offended, Laven quickly checked his expression, but surprisingly, the noble Duke seemed not to have the same thought as Laven. After all, the upright noble wouldn’t know such lowly insults.
Laven laughed heartily and tried to cover it up.
“Hahaha! Maybe it was sent by mistake?”
“Yes, that must be it. Maybe it was pressed by accident in sleep. I should be careful not to do that too.”
Watching his master nod innocently, Laven resolved.
When going to the capital, he would have to be wary of this crazy guild master who sends finger insults in the middle of the night. It was clear he was no ordinary lunatic.